It’s funny how sometimes you are doing something, and it seems like time is dragging. Other times, when you are doing something, it seems like time is flying by. Each of these times, time still goes at the pace it does. It is you that is feeling different.
Time becomes an issue when you begin to state, “I’ll do it tomorrow”, then you realize tomorrow was actually five years ago. What happened there? There is the general thinking that you should be “present” in your life. This means when you are with people, physically and mentally be with them. Don’t spend your time looking at your phone, worrying about something that is happening later, or focusing on the past.
This is a good idea, but for most people, it will take discipline. It is easy to “space out” when you are listening to someone talk about a subject you are not a fan of or discussing some intricate thing in their life that doesn’t really interest you. Being present, though, has many benefits.
One of the benefits of being present is that it increases your ability to focus. You are concentrating on what is happening in front of you, so you are also taking in more information and having a richer experience.
Another benefit is that, at mealtime, you are less likely to overeat. How many times have you sat down with a bag of chips and seemingly two seconds later you are reaching around in the now empty bag wondering what happened to the chips? Certainly, you couldn’t have eaten them ALL?! The other part of that problem is that it takes your food about 20 min to reach your stomach, so you start to feel like Violet from Willy Wonka as you are feeling full, but all of your food hasn’t made it to your stomach yet.
When you are more present in your life, you are also more connected to your surroundings and the people within your circle. This can give you a greater sense of purpose for your life and better relationships. Your sense of happiness can be deeper.
All you need to do to begin is just begin. Notice your breath and your physical body while you are with people. Notice how your clothes feel, what your hands are doing, and what the people around you are saying. If your mind starts to wander, bring it back. Take a deep breath and notice it. It will take time, but you can do this.
An important benefit to being present in your life is that you won’t feel like time is slipping away. You will be mindful of every day that you have, your priorities will align with your time, and you will notice that you are doing more needle-moving activities that take you one step closer to reaching all of your goals.
I was driving in the car today thinking about food. I don’t think about food all the time, but lately, I’ve been wondering why I want to eat the things I do. I was thinking about the idea of comfort food. I gathered that was food that people want to eat to remember the past and feel better. Then I began to wonder what my comfort food was. Not so much exactly what it was, per se, but more why I called it that. I didn’t have a happy childhood. When we had an abundance of casseroles that meant somebody died. We ate spaghetti once a week and Hamburger Helper because we couldn’t afford anything else. Little Debbie was a member of our family because “she” was cheap.
I tend to lean towards carberific food when I want comfort food. But I’m not eating to eat. I’m eating to feel better. That’s not the point of food. Food isn’t supposed to be around to make us feel better about our lives. And let’s say I eat it then…..I don’t eat until I’m full…..I eat until I feel better. That’s not right either. I can eat a box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. I add more butter, so I don’t have to worry about the milk part. I do not eat a bowl of cereal; I eat a box of cereal. While I’m eating one bowl, I’m already thinking about the next. As long as the milk holds out, I keep filling the bowl. Do I feel “better” when I’m done? Hell, no! I feel full and uncomfortable. Was that what I was really going for?
When my mother went to the Dr. (she went A LOT) we would get a candy bar from the pharmacy for our troubles. It was a Cadbury Milk Bar. I was partial to the caramel ones. When I go to the Dr. as an adult (seldom), I want a candy bar. Exactly a Cadbury Milk Bar Caramel flavored so I can think about my mother. Was my mother healthy? Nope, we went to the Dr. a lot with her because she had chronic illness, several bouts of almost dying, and she took a crap ton of pills. But I equate this with candy. Does this sound comforting? Not really.
Let’s not even think about birthdays at our house. Our birthdays were almost all so close together that every week we had a new cake for over a month. We couldn’t lump anyone’s birthday together. We all had to have our own cake. Cake came with ice cream and for me, a lot of frosting!
So where does my idea of food and comfort come from then?
My one grandmother used to make homemade macaroni and cheese; my other grandmother preferred Kraft. I want both. I stayed with my homemade macaroni and cheese grandmother when my mother was in the hospital so long we needed to go to school somewhere else for a while. I also stayed with her after I got divorced because my mother died within the same time frame (a week after the divorce) and at that point, I just couldn’t. I couldn’t function, I just had no idea what to do with myself. I was never getting divorced and because I did, my mother was supposed to help me through this. This was not very comforting either. But I did get the opportunity to eat some stale doughnuts (because they were on sale), all of the homemade holiday candy, the onslaught of Easter chocolate, the nut rolls during the holidays, and of course the homemade macaroni & cheese. The only problem with this was that I was an emotional zombie at this time. I went to work and came home. That was the extent of my life for about a year after I was divorced. My grandfather started telling me that I needed to get out of the house. He didn’t even care if I stayed out all night, I just needed to go back to the land of the living because I was creeping everyone out at the house.
Then I took care of my Kraft Macaroni & Cheese grandmother for several years towards the end of her life. We had fun times. We went on a winery tour around Ohio. I paid for the tour for just myself, but she was so damn cute that every winery gave her free stuff. My grandmother was diabetic. My father (her son) wanted her to live her life however she wanted, so one day a week he would take her out and they would eat junk. She would buy candy, ice cream, whatever crap she wanted to eat, and he let her. Does this sound comforting? She always had a stomachache afterward. ALWAYS! My brother and sister-in-law wanted to help, so they bought her sugar-free candy. She ate the WHOLE BAG in one sitting. Ever look at some of the sugar-free candy bags? There’s a warning on there. “Excessive consumption can have a laxative effect.” Yeah, it did. Was that comforting? NO!
So, what is comfort food? I have no idea. I know that I seldom have bread, cereal, pasta, or candy bars in my house. I don’t eat a few and don’t eat til full, so they can’t be around. Will I go out to a restaurant and eat the bread that’s put on the table? Sometimes. Other times I simply say, “No thanks.” and make them take the bread away from the table. I make homemade macaroni and cheese and eat Kraft once in a blue moon now. I still look at the Cadbury Milk Bars in the grocery store, but I simply walk past them instead of telling myself, “I deserve this.”
I know everyone has problems. Most likely the majority of people did not have a happy childhood. I’m not really talking about everyone else here though. Just myself and the idea of comfort food.
I’m not sure what type of food would actually make me happy. I’ve eaten candy bars and noticed that about 5 seconds after I finish it, the taste is already gone out of my mouth. The calories surprisingly are still there, but the taste and memory of the food are already gone. Then I begin to think I got gypped. I think if I’m going to have well over my calorie limit for the day, I should at least get to enjoy it longer.
So, then I’m left with the idea of what is comfort food? I still have no idea.
Your life runs. You get up, make the coffee, begin your day and get on with this thing called life. Sometimes you get out of your comfort zone and do something different. Other days you begin to forget what day it is. The days sometimes just run together. It is on the days out of your comfort zone that it happens.
You might notice someone new; strike up a conversation and then everything changes. You begin to notice there is life outside of your little cocoon. It is happening “out there”. You start to wonder what you have been missing out on. These people that you run across that are doing the things you said you wanted to do. Maybe you used the excuse that you didn’t have the time or the energy. Yet, you found someone doing it. Then you begin to wonder if they can….why can’t you?
You begin to study them, trying to determine how they found the time and the energy. Then you realize the harsh reality of it all. It is not that they ‘found’ the time, but they ‘made’ the time. Maybe got up a little earlier, gave up something else they wanted to do or just adjusted their schedule to fit it in. Then after they started, then it became a habit, and now they just do it. It has become a part of them. And here you still are just watching.
It became a part of them, but you haven’t yet seen it as a part of you. It is there and always was…..you just forgot….lost in your day…..safe in your cocoon. They come when you are not looking. Your past hopes, dreams and thoughts. What you wanted for yourself that you forgot along the way. You see them in the people around you when you take a moment to truly see the people around you. They are there to remind you of you— the idea of what you wanted for yourself and what can still happen. All you need to do is remember. Realize this is what you wanted for yourself and then make the plans to get it.
Every day is a new day, a chance to become the person you want to become. Take this day and run with it. Break free from the cocoon you have been living in and take charge of your future. Make it a great day to be you!
So, while everyone else drifts off to slumber land, I lay awake. Mind going, I was going to say 100 mph, but that is an exaggeration…..but still my mind does pretty much go 24/7/365. I thought I would scare you and let you know some of the things that I think about late at night…..
Pre-Cut Butter
Why isn’t this made? Or is it, and I just haven’t found it yet? You buy the butter (in the stick) but it is pre-cut for you. Now there is something called a butter cutter, but I am talking about it coming in stick form already measured out in tablespoons. Not necessarily individually wrapped (because I know you can go to a restaurant supply store and find that), but cut right in the stick. I think this would sell. Maybe a little piece of paper between pats in case it is warm. Figuring if the butter heats up in the car on the way home from grocery store it would just pretty much melt back together.
Real Commercials
I am interested to know if any of you ladies have walked through the park with your mother and mentioned that you didn’t feel quite so fresh. Does anyone do this? Then there are the creamer commercials where no one seems to know how to open the little plastic tub. Now I know that sometimes it is hard, but the way it is portrayed in the commercial is just funny. It seems like they are practically using a buzz saw to open it. I know, but the commercial was memorable wasn’t it….
Parmesan Cheese Shaker
Has anyone noticed that when you use the parmesan cheese shaker that some of the cheese doesn’t make it back into the container? It gets stuck in the top and gets caught under the pre-cut holes. There should be a way to eliminate this issue. Maybe a tiny brush that comes with the can or some type of sweeper mechanism built into the lid. The cheese begins to crust and gets weird and then you need to clean it out to make sure none of “that” cheese touches your food. There should be a way to eliminate “that” cheese.
There is more, but I will save that for a different post. What do you think of late into the night when you can’t sleep? Share in the comments below…..
It is hard to be a good example for children when we follow the adage – do what I say, not what I do. We tell children not to smoke, yet there we are smoking. We tell children they have to watch what they eat, and we’ve already eaten a sleeve and a half of Oreos. Then there is the whole – don’t talk to strangers – conversation. We tell the children not to talk to people they don’t know and then we tell them that a bunny will run through the house or yard and hide treats for them. Then we add that they will never see the bunny. Or that sitting on the man’s lap with the red suit and white beard is no problem, even though they are too young to know who this is. He will also be going through the house and yard, and they won’t see him either. Let’s not forget the tooth fairy who comes into their room and places their hand under the child’s pillow, take’s their tooth and leaves them money. In the beginning, every single one of these people is a stranger. Children are told that each of these people will interact with them by leaving them treats or money, yet the child will never see them in the house.
I am not saying that there can’t be fun with children, fantasy and tradition. I am just saying that we need to be cognizant of how we speak to them. If you think about it, everyone is a stranger until you get to know them. How do you teach your children that all strangers are not bad, just some. Then go on to explain how the child, with their limited understanding, can distinguish between the two. It is difficult if you put some thought into it.
What would happen if we followed the advice we gave children? What if we made sure our work was done before we relaxed at home? Brushed our teeth morning and night and then regularly flossed as well? Set out our clothes the night before to save time dressing in the morning? Would be become more productive citizens? Would we find that we are getting more done during the day because our beginning was organized? It would be interesting to compile a list of commonly stated sayings that we share with children that we might or might not actually follow closely ourselves.
So why don’t we do that? Let’s start a conversation. Please share your thoughts in the comments section and let’s get a dialogue going.
What is it about the size of people? I just don’t understand. So many models are considered too skinny, and I just don’t see it. I mean, yes, I do understand that some people could use an extra meal or three, but it seems like anyone who is thin is considered to have a problem. This makes me wonder if these women do actually have a problem, or if they only look like they do because we have become fatter as a society.
This new “normal” would be reason that thin people look too thin. Compared to everyone else, yeah they are really thin. Then you have to remember what people used to weigh in the past. The median number has gradually increased over the years. There was a study done where self reported weights had increased over a twenty year period. Okay, so if self reported weights are on the rise, but not everyone gains the extra pounds then sure, the people who don’t gain the weight will look thinner. Then there’s the clothes sizing.
They actually have vanity sizing for clothes. This means that the size 8 that you have worn since high school might be a bigger 8 than it was years ago. So, we have people getting fatter and the clothing industry trying to make us feel better by manipulating the sizes so we don’t see what the number really is. If you think about it though, like so many things, the size of the clothes is an arbitrary number. Not every designer has the same idea of what a size 8 should look like. So you can go to the store and pick up a size 6 and a size 12 and they will end up fitting exactly the same. So, what does the number mean? Not much….except in gossip circles and your mind. Do you feel better saying you wear a size 0 or a size 14? Does it mean anything if you wear a size 0 or a size 14? Nope.
You aren’t smarter, funnier, more enjoyable to be around (heavier folks aren’t always jolly and size 0’s are not always starving and bitchy) or any other stereotype that is floating out there in the cosmos. It is truly just a number, and yet it is not. If it truly were just a number then we wouldn’t need the vanity sizing now would we?
A Saucy Dame 